I have a friend who recently added baby number 5 to her beautiful family. Her life doesn’t stop. She is probably the busiest person I know and it doesn’t bother her. She can graciously handle it all. I can’t. I watch in amazement at all she can do and it inspires me, but when I compare it gets ugly.
Night is a struggle for me and always will be, My thoughts spiral down and I can’t sleep. Those thoughts spill into the next day and the next until I generally break with a day of crying and feel better. If I could bring myself to spend time in the Word at this time it would be most beneficial. I wish I could get there at the time. But often I can’t.
God has made me very different from my friend. And that is OK. Our world is always telling us to compare in order to make us feel inferior so that we will buy a product that will improve that deficiency. What we have to realize is that it isn’t a deficiency to be created differently. The question needs to become less of “What can I change in order to improve my life and who I am?”, and instead more of “Who has God created me to be and how do I use that uniqueness to impact the world around me?”.
Separating out what is sin and what is a created uniqueness can be difficult. Generally any strength can become a weakness and vice versa. Focusing on the strengths God has blessed me with, without putting someone else down for not having those strengths or wishing I had their strengths instead is important. As well as asking the Lord to show me any sin in my life.
The only successful way to do this is to point back to God and continually give Him the glory. In the Westminster Catechism kids are asked “What is the chief end of man?” and the answer is “To Glorify God and enjoy Him forever”. Oh that I will learn and apply that question and answer daily to my own life!
O LORD, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.
Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,”
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
I awake, and I am still with you.
Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
They speak against you with malicious intent;
your enemies take your name in vain.
Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
I hate them with complete hatred;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!